Becoming a parent is often seen as a life milestone filled with joy, purpose, and unconditional love. Yet, behind the smiles and happy family portraits, research reveals that not all parents feel the same way—and some quietly admit they wish they had chosen differently.

A recent survey has brought forward a striking revelation: while most parents say they genuinely love having children, around one in twelve openly confessed to regretting parenthood. Another notable share of participants admitted they had felt regret at some point in the past, even if those feelings later softened or disappeared. Interestingly, age seems to play a major role—younger parents reported higher levels of regret compared to their older counterparts, suggesting that life stage, maturity, and available resources may shape one’s experience of raising children.

For many, the regret is not permanent nor deeply rooted. Most described it as “mild,” often tied to temporary struggles such as lack of sleep, financial stress, or the overwhelming responsibilities of caring for young children. However, a smaller yet significant group admitted to experiencing regret at a more serious level, highlighting that for some, parenthood can feel like a heavy and lasting burden.

Why Do Some Parents Feel Regret?

Experts in psychology explain that these feelings rarely mean a lack of love for one’s children. Instead, they often stem from conflicting expectations versus reality. Society tends to present parenting as a universally fulfilling role, yet the day-to-day reality can be exhausting, financially draining, and emotionally isolating. When parents feel unsupported or unprepared, disappointment may turn into regret.

• Unrealistic Expectations: Social media and cultural norms often portray parenthood as joyful and rewarding, without showing the struggles. Parents who buy into these ideals may feel they are “failing” when reality doesn’t match.
• Financial Pressure: Raising children comes with significant costs—education, healthcare, housing—that can strain families, especially younger parents who may not yet be financially secure.
• Loss of Freedom and Identity: Some parents report struggling with the dramatic lifestyle change, where personal goals, social life, and independence are often put on hold.
• Mental Health Challenges: Stress, anxiety, and burnout can intensify feelings of regret. Without proper support, parents may internalize these struggles as permanent dissatisfaction.

What Do Experts Suggest?

Psychologists emphasize that it is important to normalize and discuss these feelings rather than bury them in silence. Dr. Elaine Harper, a family therapist, explains: “Regret in parenting doesn’t mean someone doesn’t love their child. It’s usually a sign that the parent is overwhelmed and lacks adequate support. Talking openly and seeking help can make a big difference.”

Some strategies experts recommend include:

• Building stronger social support networks for parents.
• Encouraging honest conversations about the realities of parenthood.
• Providing affordable childcare and community resources to reduce pressure.
• Offering counseling and mental health services for parents who feel overwhelmed.

The Bigger Picture

This survey sheds light on an often unspoken truth: parenthood, while rewarding, is not universally fulfilling. By acknowledging that regret exists and understanding the reasons behind it, society can create a more supportive environment for families. In doing so, we not only help parents feel less isolated but also create healthier, more nurturing conditions for children to thrive.

Parenting comes with immense challenges, and regret is a complex, deeply human response. The more openly we talk about it, the closer we get to building a culture where parents can feel both supported and understood—without guilt or shame.