"Who am I outside my family's reputation?"
"Would people respect me if my parents weren't famous?"
"Do people like me because of who I am or because of my family?"
Those questions can become particularly complicated during adolescence, a period when identity development naturally becomes more important.
This is why the concept of structure can be useful when discussed carefully.
Structure does not have to mean suppressing individuality.
It can mean creating a stable environment in which children know what is expected of them while still having room to discover who they are.
The Difference Between Gender Expression and Gender Identity
Another important distinction in this discussion is the difference between gender expression and gender identity.
Gender expression involves how someone presents themselves through clothing, hairstyle, behavior and other forms of self-expression.
Gender identity refers to a person's internal sense of their gender.
A child can behave in ways traditionally associated with another gender without identifying as transgender.
A girl can prefer football, wear loose clothing and spend most of her time with boys while still identifying as a girl.
A boy can enjoy dance, fashion or traditionally feminine hobbies while still identifying as a boy.
The APA explicitly warns against automatically interpreting gender-nonconforming behavior as evidence that someone is transgender.
That makes Flavin's personal experience with her daughters relevant as an example of gender nonconformity — but it cannot by itself explain the experiences of other children.
Every child is different.
What Supportive Parenting Can Change
Although parenting does not appear to determine whether someone is transgender, family support can have a major influence on well-being.
The CDC reports that LGBTQ+ teenagers who experience supportive family environments have better health-related outcomes and are less likely to experience several negative outcomes associated with rejection and conflict.
The Trevor Project's 2024 research also found an association between parental or caregiver support and lower suicide risk among transgender, nonbinary and gender-questioning young people.
In its analysis, young people who reported greater parental support had lower rates of reported suicide attempts than those who experienced little or no support. The organization emphasized that supportive actions can include listening, respecting a young person's identity and communicating acceptance.
These findings do not mean that parents can "cause" or "prevent" a child from being transgender.
Instead, they highlight something more straightforward:
Parents can influence how safely and confidently a child navigates the world.
That distinction matters enormously.
The Cost of Rejection
Young people who feel rejected at home can experience serious emotional consequences.
The CDC notes that transgender and questioning students experience higher rates of bullying, violence, poor mental health and suicidal thoughts and behaviors than cisgender students in its 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey data. The agency also identifies supportive families and connected environments as protective factors.
These statistics should not be interpreted as meaning that transgender identity itself causes poor mental health.
Rather, the data point toward a complicated interaction between identity, discrimination, bullying, social isolation, family rejection and other stressors.
That distinction is essential when discussing children.
A child who is struggling needs support rather than a simplistic explanation.
Why Celebrity Families Deserve the Same Parenting Questions
It would be easy to dismiss Flavin's comments simply because she was discussing Hollywood.
But some of the underlying questions apply to wealthy families everywhere.
How much time do parents actually spend with their children?