When It Comes to Mental Illness, Everyone Thinks of Studying Too Hard, Heartbreak, or Bankruptcy… But Who Would Have Thought That a Lack of Intimacy Could Also Drive Women Into It?

And yet, strange but true stories like these are happening all around us. Not only does a lack of intimacy increase the risk of mental illness, it can also create many other dangers.

1. Hospitalized for Mental Illness Because of a Lack of Intimacy… A Heartbreaking but True Story

Doctors at the National Mental Health Institute once witnessed a truly painful case of a woman from Thai Binh. She already had two children, but had never been physically intimate with her husband, because he suffered from erectile dysfunction.

So how did she become pregnant? It was because her husband persuaded her to undergo artificial insemination. A rare and tragic situation for a woman who had given birth twice… yet remained a virgin.

She was a teacher in a rural village, arranged into a marriage with a well-off family in Hanoi. At the time of their wedding, her husband didn’t love her, yet they married anyway and lived together. Ten long years passed—her children grew up while she herself aged in loneliness, pain, and exhaustion… having never once been truly close to her husband.

Over time, she became detached, showing signs of severe depression. When her family finally brought her to the National Mental Health Institute, they were shocked to learn that her distress was caused by a lack of intimacy. Because of the sensitive nature of the issue, and because she was an educated woman, it took doctors a long time and much careful questioning before she was able to open up.

2. How Dangerous Is a Lack of Intimacy for Women?

Many women who are not regularly intimate with their husbands feel discouraged but stay silent—partly out of embarrassment, partly out of fear. Because this topic is considered “too sensitive,” few dare to confide in anyone. Over time, the nervous system becomes suppressed, and they unknowingly invite illness upon themselves.

• Irritability and mood swings: Men often cannot go without sex for more than three weeks because of their unique hormonal system. Women may endure up to two months without intimacy, but going longer than that can cause personality changes—leading to irritability, tension at home, or emotional instability.

• Depression: Researchers in sexual health suggest that a prolonged lack of intimacy makes women introverted, socially withdrawn, and unwilling to engage in conversation. Without a fulfilling sex life, women are subjected to ongoing mental strain, easily leading to depression.

• Memory problems: Regular sexual activity promotes blood circulation throughout the body, including the brain. Without it, oxygen supply to the brain decreases, causing forgetfulness and sluggish thinking.

• Accelerated aging: A lack of intimacy causes irritability and constant tension, creating a “ticking time bomb” effect. If this persists, it affects the central nervous system, creates psychological suppression, and accelerates aging.

• Gynecological issues: Contrary to the common belief that “no sex means no gynecological problems,” women who go long periods without intimacy can still suffer from them. Vaginal dryness, reduced lubrication, and weakened immunity make infections such as vaginitis and cervicitis more likely.

• Weak immunity and illness: Studies confirm that women who have sex less than twice a month produce less Immunoglobulin A (IgA), a key antibody that protects against viruses and bacteria. With lower immunity, they are more prone to flu, hypertension, intestinal problems, and other illnesses.

3. What Should Women Do When They Lack Intimacy?

Many women don’t realize their health issues stem from a lack of intimacy until they read warning signs like these. Others know, but don’t know how to solve the problem. So what should you do?

• Be honest with your partner: Many women think they shouldn’t talk about sensitive matters, but this is wrong. Men are straightforward—they need to be told what we need. If intimacy feels insufficient, talk to your husband openly. Sometimes men simply assume their wives don’t need it, and so they hold back.

• Take the initiative to rekindle passion: Intimacy doesn’t always have to begin with men. Women can set the mood with a romantic dinner, wine, candles, or even surprise their husbands with alluring lingerie. Create the right atmosphere to spark emotions and closeness.

• Seek medical help if necessary: If both partners have tried but cannot resolve the problem—or if the root cause is medical—consult professionals such as gynecologists or psychologists. Don’t be afraid or ashamed; experts are there to help.

• Avoid unreliable self-treatment: Don’t risk your health by following unverified remedies suggested by friends or strangers. They may cause more harm than good.