A surprising new study suggests that constantly striving to please others may carry a hidden cost for your health. People who habitually put others’ needs ahead of their own—so-called chronic “people-pleasers”—may face an elevated risk of developing autoimmune diseases, conditions in which the immune system mistakenly attacks the body’s own tissues.

Researchers believe that the connection lies largely in chronic stress. Continuously suppressing one’s personal needs, desires, or emotions can generate a persistent stress response. Over time this can lead to immune-system dysregulation: inflammation becomes more likely, regulatory controls weaken and the immune system may become hyper-reactive. For example, persistent stress has been linked to dysfunction of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, resistance of glucocorticoid receptors and chronically elevated pro-inflammatory cytokines—all of which create an environment where autoimmune processes may flourish. MDPI+2autoimmuneinstitute.org+2 Some animal studies even show that an 8-week chronic unpredictable stress paradigm exacerbates characteristic features of conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis or psoriasis. ScienceDirect

In human observational research, the evidence is mounting. One large study found that individuals diagnosed with stress-related disorders were more likely to develop autoimmune diseases compared to their siblings or matched controls. Harvard Health+2autoimmuneinstitute.org+2 Further, childhood traumatic stress appears to correlate with increased autoimmune-disease incidence in adulthood. PMC The bottom line: persistent, poorly managed stress may not only make you feel bad mentally, but may also raise your vulnerability to conditions such as Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, or thyroid disorders. MDPI+1

The study I referred to underscores a crucial link between mental health, emotional boundaries and physical wellness. When we habitually prioritize the needs of others at the expense of our own—and neglect our interior emotional world—we may inadvertently trigger a cascade of biological stress responses. Learning to assert yourself, set healthy boundaries and prioritise self-care isn’t just about increasing happiness or reducing guilt: it may also be essential for preserving immune health. Because mind and body are deeply interconnected, ignoring one half can have lasting consequences for the other.

What does this mean in practice? First, recognising the pattern of chronic people-pleasing is a vital step: when you feel compelled to always say “yes,” suppress your feelings or prioritise someone else’s needs to your own detriment, you’re signalling to your nervous system that you’re under prolonged tension. Second, developing emotional-boundary skills (such as expressing your feelings, recognising your limits and saying “no” when needed) can reduce the burden of covert stress. Third, self-care practices that reduce systemic stress—such as regular rest, emotional check-ins, moderate exercise, healthy sleep and even mindfulness or relaxation techniques—may have downstream benefits for your immune regulation. Indeed, there is growing evidence that mind-body practices can reduce inflammatory gene expression and lower markers of stress-related immune activation. TIME+1

One caution: while the research strongly supports associations between chronic stress and autoimmune risk, causation has not been definitively proven. Observational studies cannot always determine whether stress triggered the condition, or the condition (or its early symptoms) caused the stress—or a combination of both. Harvard Health+1 Nonetheless, the weight of evidence is sufficiently compelling that taking psychological-emotional health seriously is indicated—not only for mental wellbeing, but for physical and immune health as well.

In summary: if you routinely prioritise everyone else’s welfare and suppress your own, you may be exposing yourself to chronic stress burdens that go deeper than mere exhaustion or burnout. Over time, this may impact your immune system and raise vulnerability to autoimmune disease. By practicing emotional boundaries, self-care and stress-reduction, you support not only your sense of balance and satisfaction—but potentially your long-term health. Your body and mind are two parts of one system—and ignoring either can have consequences that persist.

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Sources added (in addition to the original idea):

• Nunez SG et al., “Chronic Stress and Autoimmunity: The Role of HPA Axis Dysfunction” (2025) MDPI

• Autoimmune Institute article “Stress & Autoimmune Disease: Navigating the Complex Relationship” autoimmuneinstitute.org

• Ilchmann-Diounou H et al., “Psychological Stress, Intestinal Barrier Dysfunctions, and Autoimmune Diseases” (2020) PMC

• Mandagere K et al., “Systematic review and meta-analysis of post-traumatic stress and autoimmune diseases” (2025) Frontiers

• Harvard Health Publishing, “Autoimmune disease and stress: Is there a link?” (2020) Harvard Health

• Time magazine, “Yoga and Meditation Can Change Your Genes, Study Says” (2017) TIME