Why More Middle-Aged Women Are Divorcing Their Husbands — And the Surprising Role Menopause Plays

While overall divorce rates in the United States have been declining in recent years, a new and rather unexpected trend is starting to surface. Known as “menodivorce,” this phenomenon refers to middle-aged women choosing to end their marriages during perimenopause or menopause.

CNN reported that marriage rates have risen and divorces have generally decreased, but specialists and surveys now suggest that a significant number of women are leaving long-term relationships specifically at this stage of life.

What exactly is perimenopause?

According to the Mayo Clinic, perimenopause is “the time before menopause when your body is getting ready to stop having periods.” This transition can last several years and often brings symptoms such as hormonal fluctuations, sleep issues, mood swings, and decreased libido. For many women, these changes become a catalyst for reevaluating their lives and relationships.

More women approaching menopause are leaving their husbands (Getty Stock Image)

Melissa McClure is one of those women. She ended her marriage of 14 years during perimenopause. Reflecting on her experience, she told USA Today: “We spend our entire adult lives taking care of our husbands or partners and children. We give so much of ourselves as nurturers that we lose ourselves in the process.” For Melissa, leaving her marriage was not a reckless midlife crisis but an awakening, a step toward reclaiming her identity.

The numbers behind the trend

Research supports that Melissa’s story is far from unique. A 2022 UK survey conducted by the Family Law Menopause Project and Newsom Health Research and Education found that seven in ten women blamed perimenopause or menopause as a contributing factor in the breakdown of their marriage.

Similarly, U.S. statistics tell a revealing story. A study from Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Family and Marriage Research discovered that by 2019, one in four divorces involved adults aged 50 and older. This marks a stark rise from 1990, when only one in ten divorces came from this demographic.

Considering that the average age for menopause in America is 51, according to the Mayo Clinic, the overlap between these statistics is difficult to ignore.

Why does menopause lead to divorce?

Dr. Sameena Rahman, an OB-GYN and menopause specialist, explained the situation bluntly in an interview with Good Morning America. “One of the things I hear about is the irritation they may feel with the person they’ve been with for the longest period of time,” she said. “Sometimes it’s the way they chew, or even the way they look at them.”

Speaking further with USA Today, Dr. Rahman added: “They might still love their husbands or partners, but they also hate them, and they can no longer put up with the things they tolerated for decades.”

She also emphasized that hormonal changes often come alongside other stressors: demanding jobs, teenagers at home, aging parents, or empty nests. Combined with symptoms like hot flashes, anxiety, sleep problems, and a reduced sex drive, these pressures can become unbearable within the marriage dynamic.

Real-life stories

Katy Viva, a mother of three, also divorced her husband of 24 years during menopause. While she stopped short of saying menopause directly “caused” the split, she was clear about its influence. “I don’t know if menopause caused the divorce. But I will say that menopause made me unwilling to put up with the bullsht anymore,”* she explained.

She elaborated with striking clarity: “Life is too long, not too short. I’ve got time left in me, and I don’t want to spend it with someone I don’t respect or who doesn’t truly love me.”

Her words capture the central theme: menopause often acts as a breaking point where many women reassess what they want from the second half of their lives.

Can relationships survive menodivorce?

Experts caution that while menopause can strain relationships, it doesn’t always have to end in divorce. Couples are advised to seek professional support through therapy, open communication, and medical treatment to help manage symptoms. Addressing both the physical and emotional challenges together can ease tensions and sometimes even strengthen the partnership.

Still, for many women, menopause seems to highlight long-standing dissatisfaction that can no longer be ignored. Whether it’s frustration with unmet emotional needs, years of unequal household responsibilities, or a deeper desire for independence, menopause often acts as the trigger for life-changing decisions.